The other kids will laugh at me

I was driving Kate to her third day of gymnastics class and she says, "I'm not going to do anything today because the other kids will laugh at me."

I was stunned.  Speechless.  Broken hearted.  Why is my 3 year old already so self-conscious and afraid of what other people think?  I don't know if this normal at that age or not, but even if it is, it still breaks my heart.

I have first hand experienced the paralyzing fear of "everyone is watching me and judging me" for far too long.  It is one of the last things that I desire for my kids to spend a lifetime having to out grow.

After I recovered, I launched into a speech that was probably greatly lost on my sweet Kate's 3 year old mind, but it went something like this. "The kids aren't laughing at you.  And even if they are, I want you to go out there and just do your best and not worry about what they think.  I know you are doing your best and all that matters is what God thinks." Etc. Etc. Etc.

I am pretty sure she did participate in gymnastics that day and after her 4th day of gymnastics she proudly told me, "I did everything today!"  I was very excited.  I was certain it had nothing to do with my speech, but nonetheless grateful that my money was being put to better use than Kate sitting on the sidelines at 3 year old gymnastics. :)

It was later that night that I got hit over the head with my own lesson.  I had been in the midst of a task that I was really not excited about doing (even though I knew it needed to be done) MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID WHAT PEOPLE WERE GOING TO THINK ABOUT ME!

As I went to bed that night, I was praying for Kate to be free from being self-conscious and God reminded me of the words I spoke to her.  "Do YOU really care ONLY about what I think?"

I was stunned.  Speechless.  Broken hearted.

I prayed.  God I desire to only care about what you think, to be obedient even when it is unpopular or uncomfortable.  Please help me.  (It went on a little longer than this, but you get the point.)

I cannot give what I do not have.  I don't exactly know how to teach Kate and AJ the self-confidence that they are going to need to not worry about the other kids laughing, but I know that I have to continue to learn it first.  I know that I have to keep praying.  So thankful for grace, the power of the Holy Spirit, and for lessons in the moment!