Lets Be Intentional

In the book, The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. Dobson, I read a summary of the results of a 10 year study of children between the ages of eight and eighteen months.

The study's purpose was to discover how early experiences shape the development of healthy, intelligent human beings.  In that summary, I read the following...


"The amount of live language directed to a child (not to be confused with television, radio, or overheard conversations) is vital to her development of fundamental linguistic, intellectual, and social skills."
"The best parents in the study were those who excelled at three key functions:
 1. They were superb designers and organizers of their children's environments."
2. They permitted their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes, during which personal consultation, comfort, information, and enthusiasm were exchanged."
3. They were 'firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children.'"


I would say it is a fair statement that most moms want their children to grow up to be healthy, intelligent, human beings...and then some.  Not that this is a big news flash or anything, but guess what?  That doesn't just happen all by itself.  All of the parenting tips above require us being preemptive, active, thoughtful, intentional parents.

In the same way that the toys don't pick themselves up, the laundry doesn't wash itself, and the crumbs don't sweep themselves up off the floor, character doesn't just develop...in ourselves or our children.

The reason I included the first quote above is because I am not really a talker.  It isn't my natural state to just have a one sided conversation with my daughter as we hang out together all day.  So when I read about how important that is (and of course I've read it before in just about every parenting book, article, or pamphlet I pick up), I get a little prick of conscience.  How much did I talk to *Kate today?  I know this isn't something I am going to naturally do, and so I have to acknowledge it is going to take me being intentional.

This is just one example of a much bigger lesson that God has been teaching me lately.  To be the kind of parent that I want to be takes intentionality.

To be the kind of person I want to be takes intentionality.  I'll be honest, sometimes I wish life was like the easy button.  You just got to float along on the lazy river and watch life go by.  But in order to get the most out of life, that isn't really how it goes. 

To me, to be intentional means the following (and so much more):

-deciding in advance what I want to accomplish in a day
-setting boundaries for myself and my daughter and enforcing them
-using my time (all of it) well
-investing in relationships
-spending time with God - reading, praying, and listenting
-sharing about God with others
-speaking up about important issues
-going on date nights with my husband (need to put one of those on the calendar)

I think you get the idea.  I have to decide each day, each moment, to be intentional.  Will you be intentional with me?


*Click on the link to read about using the name Kate

What's in a Name

You may have noticed that I don't use my daughter's name when I write these posts even though most of them are inspired by her.  Well, that's mostly because this is the WORLD WIDE web after all and some day the little 1 year old is going to be a 16 year old and may be less than thrilled to have her name associated with all of my favorite little stories.

That being said, it is a bit awkward to always refer to her without a name.  So from now on, I will refer to my little inspiration as Kate.

Please...Pray

I've tried to teach our little girl some sign language.  While she knows a few signs, she caught on to "please" very quickly and uses it A LOT.  She'll walk to a door and sign please and wait for you to open it.  She will see something across the room and start signing please and expect you to retrieve for her what she is spying with her little eye.  And most importantly she signs please like crazy whenever food is present.  It is a bit difficult sometimes to determine what it is that she wants, but I much prefer the frequent random tummy or chest rub (the sign for please) to the squawking or crying which would be her alternative means of getting something she wants.  Just so you all know that she isn't the most polite child on earth she does more than her share of squawking and crying when she doesn't get what she wants, regardless of how politely she asked for it. :)

Since signing please is such a big part of our day to day right now it seemed appropriate that there was something to learn there.  A 14 month old signs please to get what she wants because she is still very dependent on me or other caregivers and needs our help for most if not all activities.

I believe that as Christians we are called to lead lives in which we are fully dependent on God.  What that means is that we are doing things that on our own are extremely difficult or impossible.  In reality, that really doesn't have to be anything special because just day to day striving to not sin and to live more like Jesus is something that cannot be done on our own.

Which leads me back to signing...no, I'm not suggesting we all walk around all day rubbing our tummies...mostly because it just wouldn't be as cute as when a toddler does it...

I am suggesting we pray with the same urgency, frequency, and persistence that my little girl signs please.  God's word tells us to "pray continually" in 1 Thessalonians 5:17.  We all have small moments of down time that we can turn into pray time - washing dishes, sitting at stop lights, folding laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.  As a need or an issue comes to mind before you can worry about it, pray over it.  When you think of a friend, pray for them.  When you screw up, pray about it.  When you are happy, pray.  And don't forget to say please :).