A typical day for me and Kate looks a little bit like this. Wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, pack up and head out the door. We go to work (she goes with me most of the time), to the library, grocery shopping, play dates, etc. When we get home it is time to make dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner, sweep the floor, do a load of laundry, bath, pick up the house, and get ready for bed.
This probably sounds very familiar to most moms of little ones. I hate to admit that a lot of the time I can get too focused on all of those tasks and not take time to really engage with Kate. I spend more time trying to get her out of my way than taking time to play with her and do what she wants to do. I can easily feel like all I do in a day is survive motherhood, not engage and thrive in it.
I think that we often live our entire lives like this - merely surviving and not engaging with the realities around us and with the purpose God has given us. It is no secret that the world is full of suffering, poverty, war, violence, etc. The most recent act of unspeakable violence and meaningless death took place in an elementary school - something so sad and difficult to deal with that it is tempting to turn away, ignore it, and wish it never happened.
I recently read in Richard Stearns book The Hole in our Gospel about what God expects of us. He says, "The spread of the 'kingdom of God' was to be carried out on earth by His church.... Jesus' followers were not to sit idly and await His return; they were to strike out boldly as the advance guards in a revolution that will only be completed up on His return....We are not to give up on the world, nor retreat from it--just the opposite. We are to reclaim and redeem the world for Christ's kingdom."
What I'm saying is that in both parenting and living, we are called to more than just surviving from sun up to sun down. We are called to face the problems, the hurts, the suffering, and the temper tantrums and requests to play head on and engage in them - thriving, not surviving.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Temper Tantrums
Kate shoved the last of her second piece of Halloween candy
into her mouth and pointed at the candy bucket and started begging for
more. In my mind I was thinking of the
choice I had to make, say no and listen to the crying vs. what’s the harm of
one more small piece of candy. I decided
one more small piece wouldn’t hurt and then endured the temper tantrum when I
said No when she inevitably begged for a fourth.
As a parent, do you ever feel like the constant temper
tantrums make you a bad parent? After
all shouldn’t our perfect little angels do exactly what they are told the first
time we ask without complaint or whining?
Well actually, that is something they have to learn. We humans are selfish, self-gratifying
creatures. Self-denial, self-control, and sacrifice are things that have to be learned.
19 month old Kate doesn’t have the maturity to deny herself
from eating candy until she throws it up and so I have to do it for her. And for now, she doesn’t have the maturity to
accept NO without a big temper tantrum.
It doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong, it actually
probably means I’m doing something right.
If there were no tantrums now and then I think I’d be more concerned.
As I reflected on this, I remembered that God asks us as
adults to practice self-denial, self-control, and sacrifice as well. We don’t learn these things as children for
no reason at all. In order to love and
serve others we have to deny ourselves of the things we want. Several times in God’s Word it says that in
order to follow Him we will face suffering, persecution, hardship, and
sacrifice. We call this dying to self.
My logical next conclusion then was that if I didn’t
occasionally have a desire to throw a temper tantrum, which of course a mature
responsible adult would never do, then I am probably not fully living for
Christ.
I’m not saying that we adults should actually throw temper
tantrums. I am saying, we Christians
need to remember what God has called us to, the sacrifice he demonstrated for
us when he was hung on the cross to be punished for our sins, and then practice
the same self-denial we teach our children (that our parents hopefully taught
us).
And next time your little angel lets her distaste of your
boundary be known, take a step back and be grateful for the opportunity to
teach a very important spiritual and life long lesson.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Owies
I wish you could hear Kate say "owie." I think it is her favorite word. Either that or she is destined for a career in medicine. Any abnormality on a person's skin (including birthmarks, freckles, tattoos, sometimes a random piece of fuzz) is immediately observed, pointed at, and declared an owie, repeatedly.
When Kate gets an owie, she points at it and requires a kiss from mommy or daddy(and anyone else who is close by) to make it feel better. So far we have been blessed with no significant owies and some cuddle time and kisses is all it takes to make it all better.
I have observed from when Kate was very young that when she was hurting or in discomfort her mommy's presence was often all it took to soothe her. For example, when she was teething, she just wanted to be held all the time. Me holding her did nothing to alleviate the actual pain of her teeth, but somehow it made her stop crying, relax, and feel better.
In my life, I have observed many people with significant owies. Deep hurts that come from sickness, death of loved ones, abuse, broken families, pain of personal choices, abandonment, etc. The list of hurt and pain that is experienced in this world is endless. Many lives are significantly impacted by that hurt that time just doesn't seem to be healing.
As a Christian, I have the knowledge that God is Healer and desires to take those hurts away. As a person, who as I mentioned has encountered a lot of owies in others, I have often wondered just exactly what that looks like. How does God take away your hurt? How does he make it better? How can I help hurting people find relief?
I can show people that a relationship with their Heavenly Father does help to take away the pain. God cannot undo what has been done and make the pain immediately stop hurting in the same way that I cannot make Kate's skinned knee stop hurting with a hug. But my hug shows her that I care about her, I love her, and I am there with her until it does stop hurting.
God's presence in our lives can be the same. He doesn't make our pain immediately go away, but he sends us comfort by showing He cares, He loves us, and He isn't going away. In a sense, He gives us the ability to hold on through the pain. He gives us a purpose - something to distract us from the pain. He gives us a new way to live - choices that will not lead to more pain. Sometimes in our pain we become angry and bitter. In our bitterness we say and do things that we think are hurting the one who hurt us, but really we are only hurting ourselves. God's presence helps us to get rid of the bitterness and choose grace and love instead. This lessens your own pain.
I can not only show people to a relationship with their Heavenly Father, but I can also be a part of showing others his love. Maybe I am the one God is depending on to go give someone who is hurting that mothering hug for him. Maybe I am the one that God is depending on to hold someone's hand through a difficult time. Maybe I am the one that God wants to sit and listen to someone share their story.
Mommy's aren't miracle workers even though they make babys' owies go away. God is a miracle worker and His presence is enough to help make your owies go away.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
A Double Standard?
There are certain things, lots really, that are okay for me as the parent to do, that are not okay for Kate, the child to do. For one, it is okay for me to tell Kate "No." It is not okay for Kate to tell me, "No." It is okay for me to open the make-up drawer (however rarely) in the bathroom. It is not okay for Kate. It is okay under the appropriate circumstances to remove something from Kate's hands - like the scissors she found the other day. It is not okay for her to take something out of my hands or another child's.
A double standard exists in parenting.
You see, as an adult I have more freedoms than Kate does as a child because I have more knowledge than she does. My freedoms came as I grew up, matured, and gained responsibility and wisdom. You do not want to give anyone more freedom than what their current maturity level can handle.
As a parent of very young children this may seem obvious. It is natural to set appropriate boundaries and limits that keep our young children safe and teach them respect. As they grow older, it can become more difficult. I have had the opportunity to parent older children as well as younger. Situations where there was a double standard were often difficult for me to enforce because I didn't understand the concept above: freedom comes with responsibility and maturity.
Why do I bring this topic to this blog? Because it helped me to understand God in a new way. People often question why it is okay for God to order many people to be killed as he did in the Old Testament of the Bible, or why God can give us rules and expectations to follow. While I do not claim to be any sort of learned or trained theologian, I believe one answer is because the relationship between us and God is like that between parent and child.
God has more knowledge than I do. He is the author of Truth. He is the creator of the world and everything in it. He is the giver of wisdom. He is All-knowing and All-powerful. This means that he has way more freedom than I do.
Kate has to learn to trust me and the wisdom that I have to make decisions for her until she is old enough to make more decisions on her own behalf. I have to learn to trust God and his wisdom to make decisions for me and for this world, even that I don't understand, because he is God.
In the end, I don't believe it is a double standard. I believe that it is wisdom...God's design.
A double standard exists in parenting.
You see, as an adult I have more freedoms than Kate does as a child because I have more knowledge than she does. My freedoms came as I grew up, matured, and gained responsibility and wisdom. You do not want to give anyone more freedom than what their current maturity level can handle.
As a parent of very young children this may seem obvious. It is natural to set appropriate boundaries and limits that keep our young children safe and teach them respect. As they grow older, it can become more difficult. I have had the opportunity to parent older children as well as younger. Situations where there was a double standard were often difficult for me to enforce because I didn't understand the concept above: freedom comes with responsibility and maturity.
Why do I bring this topic to this blog? Because it helped me to understand God in a new way. People often question why it is okay for God to order many people to be killed as he did in the Old Testament of the Bible, or why God can give us rules and expectations to follow. While I do not claim to be any sort of learned or trained theologian, I believe one answer is because the relationship between us and God is like that between parent and child.
God has more knowledge than I do. He is the author of Truth. He is the creator of the world and everything in it. He is the giver of wisdom. He is All-knowing and All-powerful. This means that he has way more freedom than I do.
Kate has to learn to trust me and the wisdom that I have to make decisions for her until she is old enough to make more decisions on her own behalf. I have to learn to trust God and his wisdom to make decisions for me and for this world, even that I don't understand, because he is God.
In the end, I don't believe it is a double standard. I believe that it is wisdom...God's design.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Filling up on Junk
I recently noticed that I was starting to develop some bad habits when it came to Kate snacking. She had learned how to ask for food in a way that I understood - banging on her high chair and saying please - and so I obliged assuming she was hungry. I quickly wised up to the fact that while maybe she was a little hungry she really just wanted something to eat and could easily be distracted and made to wait until the next meal. This was important because I noticed that if she snacked, then she'd eat a small meal, and then she'd need another snack and then eat another small meal. A vicious cycle. Yes, some would advocate for this smaller portion size, more frequent meal routine, but in this case the snacks weren't always the healthiest options for Kate and were probably better left out of the routine. When we don't have snacks during the day, Kate eats more of the vegetables and healthier variety of foods that are given at meal time than she otherwise would.
God used this mothering experience to teach me about my own snacking habits...and I'm not talking about food. Suppose building a relationship with God is "meals" and other things in life that tend to eat up our time, attention, thoughts, etc. are "snacks." Those things can be anything from work, to television and media, to hobbies, to books, and so on. Not necessarily bad things, but things that lack substance and the life giving nutrition that we can only get from God; things that can get in the way of our relationship with God if we eat too much of it. When we fill up our lives with snacks, then we have less room for meals.
Our lives can get filled up in a couple of different ways. Time - the obvious answer. Thoughts - the snacks in our life can consume our thought life and make it more difficult to focus on God and to be aware of the work that He is doing around us. Finally, we can get a false sense of being full. If we seek our happiness, comfort, peace, security, etc from snacks and it temporarily satisfies then we are never forced to go to God - the true source of peace, joy, love, acceptance, and salvation.
As I mentioned, snacks tend to be less healthy, at least in my house anyway. But they can taste better than the veggies served for dinner. It takes a lot of self-control, sacrifice, and discipline to say no to the snack and yes to the green beans. Those things that get in the way of our relationship with God are often attractive, fun, enjoyable, relaxing and it takes some serious discipline to forego those activities. As any successful dieter can tell you, the sacrificial discipline is what brings results.
Stop filling up on junk and enjoy a healthy meal with your Father today.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Footprints in the Gravel
Last week Kate and I were enjoying the beautiful summer day in the park near our home. She had tired of the playground and so we wandered down the hill to the baseball field. I decided to see if she would chase me as I jogged around the bases.
She did...slowly.
While I was standing on third base watching her chubby legs try to catch up, I caught a glimpse of the footprints we had left in the gravel.
Kate's footprints started and ended at the same spots as mine - the bases. Inbetween the bases however was a different story. Compared to my relatively straight line hers made a large arc toward the pitcher's mound and then swerved around back and forth until she reached the base.
I thought that this may be a little preview of watching her grow up. I desire a certain course or plan for Kate's life and will do what I can to lay it out in front of her by teaching her, giving her advice, being an example, disciplining her, etc. I don't mean that I am choosing today to mold her into a future doctor or astronaut or beauty queen ;)...although I'm pretty convinced she's going to be some kind of scientist. What I do mean is that I want her to be happy, to avoid certain pitfalls, to be successful, and most of all to love God with all of her heart, soul, and mind.
What the footprints told me is that no matter how hard I try, I cannot choose for her what path she takes. She is likely going to veer off a little every now and then and do things her own way. I have to let her be her own person and make her own path. But in the end she will make it to the base and triumphantly stand on top of it.
Did you know that God does the same thing? He has a plan for our lives and desires for us too. And he gives us the freedom to live out our own lives, to make choices, to learn from our mistakes.
I can't say with 100% confidence that if Kate followed the course that I made for her, her life would be perfect, because I am not perfect.
I can say with confidence that if we follow the course that God made for our lives, and the closer the better, our lives will be perfect because of our obedience. God doesn't promise easy, but if we follow his footprints we cannot go wrong.
She did...slowly.
While I was standing on third base watching her chubby legs try to catch up, I caught a glimpse of the footprints we had left in the gravel.
Kate's footprints started and ended at the same spots as mine - the bases. Inbetween the bases however was a different story. Compared to my relatively straight line hers made a large arc toward the pitcher's mound and then swerved around back and forth until she reached the base.
I thought that this may be a little preview of watching her grow up. I desire a certain course or plan for Kate's life and will do what I can to lay it out in front of her by teaching her, giving her advice, being an example, disciplining her, etc. I don't mean that I am choosing today to mold her into a future doctor or astronaut or beauty queen ;)...although I'm pretty convinced she's going to be some kind of scientist. What I do mean is that I want her to be happy, to avoid certain pitfalls, to be successful, and most of all to love God with all of her heart, soul, and mind.
What the footprints told me is that no matter how hard I try, I cannot choose for her what path she takes. She is likely going to veer off a little every now and then and do things her own way. I have to let her be her own person and make her own path. But in the end she will make it to the base and triumphantly stand on top of it.
Did you know that God does the same thing? He has a plan for our lives and desires for us too. And he gives us the freedom to live out our own lives, to make choices, to learn from our mistakes.
I can't say with 100% confidence that if Kate followed the course that I made for her, her life would be perfect, because I am not perfect.
I can say with confidence that if we follow the course that God made for our lives, and the closer the better, our lives will be perfect because of our obedience. God doesn't promise easy, but if we follow his footprints we cannot go wrong.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Monkey See Monkey Do
All kids go through this stage...in fact while there is a definite age where it is more prominent I don't think it ever really goes away. The stage I am referring to is when kids mimic or copy everything they see someone else do. Kate is in this stage.
It is cute when she attempts something that she saw me do, but clearly doesn't really understand. A couple days ago I was aggressively pumping the hand soap dispenser because it was almost empty and I turn around to see Kate attempting the same with the dispenser on her baby shampoo.
Kate is also convinced that the appropriate way to hold a phone to your face is balanced between head and shoulder, not with your hand. (Apparently I multi-task often!)
This stage has deeper implications that go way beyond cute. She's watching.
She's watching me.
She's watching others.
And she's learning. And she's doing.
In 1 Corinthians 4:16 Paul says to the church at Corinth, "Therefore I urge you to imitate me." He also tells the church at Philipi in Philippians 4: 9, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
These verses intimidate me. Do I want to confidently look at my daughter and others who look up to me in faith and say "do as I do?" Well, yes I want to, but I know that with that comes a big responsibility.
I am challenged by my awareness of Kate's awareness. I want to model for her a strong woman, generous with her time and resources, hard working, a positive, joyful attitude, someone in control of her feelings/emotions, respect for her husband, a fear of God...and so much more. (We've come a long way from soap dispensers :))
While it can be intimidating to have a little mimicking monkey, I am also grateful for the accountability that gives me to make myself someone more beautiful in God's sight each day.
Pardon the country song reference below, if you're not a fan, but the following lyrics illustrate the importance of the job we have as parents, when young impressionable eyes are on us all the time.
Artist/Band: Atkins Rodney
Lyrics for Song: Watching You
Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with “S” and I was concerned
So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you."
We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-Doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We like fixin’ things and holding momma’s hand
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do; so I’ve been watching you"
With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.
Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”
And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”
"‘Cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
By then I’ll be strong as superman
We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad
When I can do everything you do.
‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you."
hey yeah
uh huh
It is cute when she attempts something that she saw me do, but clearly doesn't really understand. A couple days ago I was aggressively pumping the hand soap dispenser because it was almost empty and I turn around to see Kate attempting the same with the dispenser on her baby shampoo.
Kate is also convinced that the appropriate way to hold a phone to your face is balanced between head and shoulder, not with your hand. (Apparently I multi-task often!)
This stage has deeper implications that go way beyond cute. She's watching.
She's watching me.
She's watching others.
And she's learning. And she's doing.
In 1 Corinthians 4:16 Paul says to the church at Corinth, "Therefore I urge you to imitate me." He also tells the church at Philipi in Philippians 4: 9, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
These verses intimidate me. Do I want to confidently look at my daughter and others who look up to me in faith and say "do as I do?" Well, yes I want to, but I know that with that comes a big responsibility.
I am challenged by my awareness of Kate's awareness. I want to model for her a strong woman, generous with her time and resources, hard working, a positive, joyful attitude, someone in control of her feelings/emotions, respect for her husband, a fear of God...and so much more. (We've come a long way from soap dispensers :))
While it can be intimidating to have a little mimicking monkey, I am also grateful for the accountability that gives me to make myself someone more beautiful in God's sight each day.
Pardon the country song reference below, if you're not a fan, but the following lyrics illustrate the importance of the job we have as parents, when young impressionable eyes are on us all the time.
Artist/Band: Atkins Rodney
Lyrics for Song: Watching You
Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with “S” and I was concerned
So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you."
We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-Doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We like fixin’ things and holding momma’s hand
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do; so I’ve been watching you"
With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.
Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”
And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”
"‘Cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
By then I’ll be strong as superman
We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad
When I can do everything you do.
‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you."
hey yeah
uh huh
Sunday, July 15, 2012
She Cuddled
Before we had kids and when I was pregnant I couldn't wait for all of those moments of snuggling with my little baby. However, once Kate arrived on the scene I was more than a little disappointed when she demonstrated early on that she wasn't really into cuddling. She preferred to fall asleep in her carseat or crib than in our arms and was rarely content to just sit with you and snuggle.
A couple weeks ago, Kate woke up from a nap and was OBVIOUSLY not ready to be awake. I sat down in the rocking chair with her and a few minutes later she was snuggled up in my arms fast asleep. While an hour long rocking session wasn't really on my agenda for the afternoon I certainly didn't complain about those precious moments of cuddle time that are so rare.
While I rocked I thought about how God must feel. If I long for those moments with my daughter, how much does our loving Father long for those moments of relationship with us?
What does cuddling in God's presence look like?
-Reading the Bible is a great place to start
-Praying - talking to God and telling him everything on your heart and mind
-Be thankful and give praise to God for all of your blessings
-Sing praise and worship songs
-Enjoy nature and God's creation
-Etc.
And you know what else, ever since that day, I've had more and more snuggles from my touch-me-not daughter. Once we get a taste of what it is like to be in the Father's arms, we want to go back more and more because of the peace, love, safety and acceptance we find there.
These song lyrics from How He Loves by David Crowder remind of how God feels about us and what it is like to snuggle in his presence.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
A couple weeks ago, Kate woke up from a nap and was OBVIOUSLY not ready to be awake. I sat down in the rocking chair with her and a few minutes later she was snuggled up in my arms fast asleep. While an hour long rocking session wasn't really on my agenda for the afternoon I certainly didn't complain about those precious moments of cuddle time that are so rare.
While I rocked I thought about how God must feel. If I long for those moments with my daughter, how much does our loving Father long for those moments of relationship with us?
What does cuddling in God's presence look like?
-Reading the Bible is a great place to start
-Praying - talking to God and telling him everything on your heart and mind
-Be thankful and give praise to God for all of your blessings
-Sing praise and worship songs
-Enjoy nature and God's creation
-Etc.
And you know what else, ever since that day, I've had more and more snuggles from my touch-me-not daughter. Once we get a taste of what it is like to be in the Father's arms, we want to go back more and more because of the peace, love, safety and acceptance we find there.
These song lyrics from How He Loves by David Crowder remind of how God feels about us and what it is like to snuggle in his presence.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Lets Be Intentional
In the book, The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. Dobson, I read a summary of the results of a 10 year study of children between the ages of eight and eighteen months.
The study's purpose was to discover how early experiences shape the development of healthy, intelligent human beings. In that summary, I read the following...
"The amount of live language directed to a child (not to be confused with television, radio, or overheard conversations) is vital to her development of fundamental linguistic, intellectual, and social skills."
"The best parents in the study were those who excelled at three key functions:
1. They were superb designers and organizers of their children's environments."
2. They permitted their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes, during which personal consultation, comfort, information, and enthusiasm were exchanged."
3. They were 'firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children.'"
I would say it is a fair statement that most moms want their children to grow up to be healthy, intelligent, human beings...and then some. Not that this is a big news flash or anything, but guess what? That doesn't just happen all by itself. All of the parenting tips above require us being preemptive, active, thoughtful, intentional parents.
In the same way that the toys don't pick themselves up, the laundry doesn't wash itself, and the crumbs don't sweep themselves up off the floor, character doesn't just develop...in ourselves or our children.
The reason I included the first quote above is because I am not really a talker. It isn't my natural state to just have a one sided conversation with my daughter as we hang out together all day. So when I read about how important that is (and of course I've read it before in just about every parenting book, article, or pamphlet I pick up), I get a little prick of conscience. How much did I talk to *Kate today? I know this isn't something I am going to naturally do, and so I have to acknowledge it is going to take me being intentional.
This is just one example of a much bigger lesson that God has been teaching me lately. To be the kind of parent that I want to be takes intentionality.
To be the kind of person I want to be takes intentionality. I'll be honest, sometimes I wish life was like the easy button. You just got to float along on the lazy river and watch life go by. But in order to get the most out of life, that isn't really how it goes.
To me, to be intentional means the following (and so much more):
-deciding in advance what I want to accomplish in a day
-setting boundaries for myself and my daughter and enforcing them
-using my time (all of it) well
-investing in relationships
-spending time with God - reading, praying, and listenting
-sharing about God with others
-speaking up about important issues
-going on date nights with my husband (need to put one of those on the calendar)
I think you get the idea. I have to decide each day, each moment, to be intentional. Will you be intentional with me?
*Click on the link to read about using the name Kate
The study's purpose was to discover how early experiences shape the development of healthy, intelligent human beings. In that summary, I read the following...
"The amount of live language directed to a child (not to be confused with television, radio, or overheard conversations) is vital to her development of fundamental linguistic, intellectual, and social skills."
"The best parents in the study were those who excelled at three key functions:
1. They were superb designers and organizers of their children's environments."
2. They permitted their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes, during which personal consultation, comfort, information, and enthusiasm were exchanged."
3. They were 'firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children.'"
I would say it is a fair statement that most moms want their children to grow up to be healthy, intelligent, human beings...and then some. Not that this is a big news flash or anything, but guess what? That doesn't just happen all by itself. All of the parenting tips above require us being preemptive, active, thoughtful, intentional parents.
In the same way that the toys don't pick themselves up, the laundry doesn't wash itself, and the crumbs don't sweep themselves up off the floor, character doesn't just develop...in ourselves or our children.
The reason I included the first quote above is because I am not really a talker. It isn't my natural state to just have a one sided conversation with my daughter as we hang out together all day. So when I read about how important that is (and of course I've read it before in just about every parenting book, article, or pamphlet I pick up), I get a little prick of conscience. How much did I talk to *Kate today? I know this isn't something I am going to naturally do, and so I have to acknowledge it is going to take me being intentional.
This is just one example of a much bigger lesson that God has been teaching me lately. To be the kind of parent that I want to be takes intentionality.
To be the kind of person I want to be takes intentionality. I'll be honest, sometimes I wish life was like the easy button. You just got to float along on the lazy river and watch life go by. But in order to get the most out of life, that isn't really how it goes.
To me, to be intentional means the following (and so much more):
-deciding in advance what I want to accomplish in a day
-setting boundaries for myself and my daughter and enforcing them
-using my time (all of it) well
-investing in relationships
-spending time with God - reading, praying, and listenting
-sharing about God with others
-speaking up about important issues
-going on date nights with my husband (need to put one of those on the calendar)
I think you get the idea. I have to decide each day, each moment, to be intentional. Will you be intentional with me?
*Click on the link to read about using the name Kate
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
What's in a Name
You may have noticed that I don't use my daughter's name when I write these posts even though most of them are inspired by her. Well, that's mostly because this is the WORLD WIDE web after all and some day the little 1 year old is going to be a 16 year old and may be less than thrilled to have her name associated with all of my favorite little stories.
That being said, it is a bit awkward to always refer to her without a name. So from now on, I will refer to my little inspiration as Kate.
That being said, it is a bit awkward to always refer to her without a name. So from now on, I will refer to my little inspiration as Kate.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Please...Pray
I've tried to teach our little girl some sign language. While she knows a few signs, she caught on to "please" very quickly and uses it A LOT. She'll walk to a door and sign please and wait for you to open it. She will see something across the room and start signing please and expect you to retrieve for her what she is spying with her little eye. And most importantly she signs please like crazy whenever food is present. It is a bit difficult sometimes to determine what it is that she wants, but I much prefer the frequent random tummy or chest rub (the sign for please) to the squawking or crying which would be her alternative means of getting something she wants. Just so you all know that she isn't the most polite child on earth she does more than her share of squawking and crying when she doesn't get what she wants, regardless of how politely she asked for it. :)
Since signing please is such a big part of our day to day right now it seemed appropriate that there was something to learn there. A 14 month old signs please to get what she wants because she is still very dependent on me or other caregivers and needs our help for most if not all activities.
I believe that as Christians we are called to lead lives in which we are fully dependent on God. What that means is that we are doing things that on our own are extremely difficult or impossible. In reality, that really doesn't have to be anything special because just day to day striving to not sin and to live more like Jesus is something that cannot be done on our own.
Which leads me back to signing...no, I'm not suggesting we all walk around all day rubbing our tummies...mostly because it just wouldn't be as cute as when a toddler does it...
I am suggesting we pray with the same urgency, frequency, and persistence that my little girl signs please. God's word tells us to "pray continually" in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. We all have small moments of down time that we can turn into pray time - washing dishes, sitting at stop lights, folding laundry, mowing the lawn, etc. As a need or an issue comes to mind before you can worry about it, pray over it. When you think of a friend, pray for them. When you screw up, pray about it. When you are happy, pray. And don't forget to say please :).
Since signing please is such a big part of our day to day right now it seemed appropriate that there was something to learn there. A 14 month old signs please to get what she wants because she is still very dependent on me or other caregivers and needs our help for most if not all activities.
I believe that as Christians we are called to lead lives in which we are fully dependent on God. What that means is that we are doing things that on our own are extremely difficult or impossible. In reality, that really doesn't have to be anything special because just day to day striving to not sin and to live more like Jesus is something that cannot be done on our own.
Which leads me back to signing...no, I'm not suggesting we all walk around all day rubbing our tummies...mostly because it just wouldn't be as cute as when a toddler does it...
I am suggesting we pray with the same urgency, frequency, and persistence that my little girl signs please. God's word tells us to "pray continually" in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. We all have small moments of down time that we can turn into pray time - washing dishes, sitting at stop lights, folding laundry, mowing the lawn, etc. As a need or an issue comes to mind before you can worry about it, pray over it. When you think of a friend, pray for them. When you screw up, pray about it. When you are happy, pray. And don't forget to say please :).
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Impossible Task?
I love the persistence of my one year old. Today I watched as she tried again and again to wad of a string of beads and get all of it to fit into her tiny little hand at once. An impossible task. But the beauty of it was that she didn't know it was an impossible task and so she kept at it...for about as long as a one year old keeps at anything before moving on to the next thing.
We adults put so many limits on ourselves, each other, and regretfully even God. We have long lists of things that seem impossible.
What's on your list? Graduating from high school or college, getting a job, getting married, beating an addiction, sharing your faith with others, healing from deep hurts, becoming president :)...?
And I don't know about you, but when I encounter something that seems impossible, I tend not to be as persistent as a one year old with a fist full of beads.
The reality is that we have it all wrong. Let me show you what God says about impossible.
Matthew 17:20 says "He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”"
Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
In Luke 18:27 Jesus says, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
I read today in 2 Thessalonians 1:11 and 12 how God comes up behind us and adds his power and strength to our efforts. The Message version says, "we...pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something."
What the Word is telling us is that on our own things may be impossible, but with God working in us and through us, we have the power to change ourselves, overcome our fears, and change the world for the glory of God.
We adults put so many limits on ourselves, each other, and regretfully even God. We have long lists of things that seem impossible.
What's on your list? Graduating from high school or college, getting a job, getting married, beating an addiction, sharing your faith with others, healing from deep hurts, becoming president :)...?
And I don't know about you, but when I encounter something that seems impossible, I tend not to be as persistent as a one year old with a fist full of beads.
The reality is that we have it all wrong. Let me show you what God says about impossible.
Matthew 17:20 says "He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”"
Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
In Luke 18:27 Jesus says, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
I read today in 2 Thessalonians 1:11 and 12 how God comes up behind us and adds his power and strength to our efforts. The Message version says, "we...pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something."
What the Word is telling us is that on our own things may be impossible, but with God working in us and through us, we have the power to change ourselves, overcome our fears, and change the world for the glory of God.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Get Back Up Again
My little girl has officially been a walker for a couple of weeks. While she gets around very well, she still falls a lot! Whether it is the pile of toys she thinks she can bulldoze through, an invisible bump in the floor, those annoying shoes her mommy puts on her, or just uncoordinated limbs and an awkward center of gravity, something sends her landing with a thud on that diaper clad bottom.
And as long as she's well fed, not over tired, and the bang of the head on the hardwood floor wasn't loud enough to be heard in the next room, she typically just jumps back up again and is on her way.
I know this is not a big stretch but a 13 month old learning how to walk closely resembles us as sinners learning how to live for God.
We typically can get around pretty well, but we still fall down a lot. I fall when I choose to judge someone or gossip, when I get angry and say something sarcastic to my husband, when I ignore the nudges of God and don't obey, when I am prideful. The Bible calls this sin and says that none of us are immune from it.
Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
It is important to not ignore the fact of sin, but this blog is actually meant to be more about the getting back up again. Like I said, most of the time our little walker doesn't sit and wallow in her fall. She jumps up, shrugs it off, and forgets it ever happened. This is actually what caught my attention and reminded me of God's grace.
Romans 3:24 & 25a (New Living Translation) says, "24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood."
And Romans 8:1 says, "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."
God offers a way for us to receive forgiveness for our sins. We can accept that Jesus paid the penalty for them when he was sacrificed on the cross. Our responsibility then is to repent, ask forgiveness and commit with the help of God to sin no more.
God doesn't want us to sit and wallow in our sin, no matter how terrible we think it is. He wants us to get back up again and keep moving forward.
This reminded me of the lyrics of a song by TobyMac. You can listen to the song and read the lyrics below.
And as long as she's well fed, not over tired, and the bang of the head on the hardwood floor wasn't loud enough to be heard in the next room, she typically just jumps back up again and is on her way.
I know this is not a big stretch but a 13 month old learning how to walk closely resembles us as sinners learning how to live for God.
We typically can get around pretty well, but we still fall down a lot. I fall when I choose to judge someone or gossip, when I get angry and say something sarcastic to my husband, when I ignore the nudges of God and don't obey, when I am prideful. The Bible calls this sin and says that none of us are immune from it.
Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
It is important to not ignore the fact of sin, but this blog is actually meant to be more about the getting back up again. Like I said, most of the time our little walker doesn't sit and wallow in her fall. She jumps up, shrugs it off, and forgets it ever happened. This is actually what caught my attention and reminded me of God's grace.
Romans 3:24 & 25a (New Living Translation) says, "24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood."
And Romans 8:1 says, "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."
God offers a way for us to receive forgiveness for our sins. We can accept that Jesus paid the penalty for them when he was sacrificed on the cross. Our responsibility then is to repent, ask forgiveness and commit with the help of God to sin no more.
God doesn't want us to sit and wallow in our sin, no matter how terrible we think it is. He wants us to get back up again and keep moving forward.
This reminded me of the lyrics of a song by TobyMac. You can listen to the song and read the lyrics below.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
A Choice
I make a choice every day. It is a simple, mundane choice really. The question I have to answer is, do I feed my daughter this bowl of applesauce and plate of vegetables, or do I let her feed herself? 9 times out 10 the choice is for a few minutes of productivity elsewhere in the house or kitchen while she feeds herself. The trade off is the mess that I have to clean up when meal time is done. First the hands, then the face, then the tray, then the seat, then the floor, before you know the entire kitchen is shiny clean :).
I reflected on this mundane every day choice today...because with my choice to give my daughter freedom and independence comes the consequence of cleaning up the mess. God also made a choice, a choice to give us, you and me, fumbling messy children, a lot of freedom to choose. With our freedom, we make messes, just like my sweet daughter does with her dinner. We make messes like war, divorce, abuse, stealing, ...sinning.
Does God then come in and clean up after us just like a mommy? Well sometimes, but not always. As adults, given the freedom of choice, we most often have to sit in our mess and deal with our consequences in the short term.
But the bigger picture is that at the same time that God gave us the freedom to choose, he had an ultimate clean up plan. We hurt ourselves, each other, and God when we make messes, but God sent his Son, Jesus, to do clean up duty. He lived on earth as a man, was tortured and killed, buried, and then he rose back to life. Death, the ultimate mess, was cleaned up when Jesus conquered it and came back to life. Jesus is going to come back to earth again some day and he is going to finish cleaning up. The Bible says there will be a new heaven and a new earth, no more tears, no more sickness. No more mess.
I reflected on this mundane every day choice today...because with my choice to give my daughter freedom and independence comes the consequence of cleaning up the mess. God also made a choice, a choice to give us, you and me, fumbling messy children, a lot of freedom to choose. With our freedom, we make messes, just like my sweet daughter does with her dinner. We make messes like war, divorce, abuse, stealing, ...sinning.
Does God then come in and clean up after us just like a mommy? Well sometimes, but not always. As adults, given the freedom of choice, we most often have to sit in our mess and deal with our consequences in the short term.
But the bigger picture is that at the same time that God gave us the freedom to choose, he had an ultimate clean up plan. We hurt ourselves, each other, and God when we make messes, but God sent his Son, Jesus, to do clean up duty. He lived on earth as a man, was tortured and killed, buried, and then he rose back to life. Death, the ultimate mess, was cleaned up when Jesus conquered it and came back to life. Jesus is going to come back to earth again some day and he is going to finish cleaning up. The Bible says there will be a new heaven and a new earth, no more tears, no more sickness. No more mess.
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