We are in a season of a "statewide stay home order" which for many of us means lots of extra time with our kids. We love our kids, but let's be honest. That much time with anyone, let alone a miniature, unrefined version of yourself and/or your husband 24/7 can be a lot to handle.
I've personally been very blessed and enjoying watching maturity flourish in my girls over these past several weeks. From keeping up on daily chores which reduces my cleaning burden to being the recipient of two parties that were all about making me feel loved and special, my kids have been a blessing. As I've enjoyed this, I've reflected on how not that long ago if you had told me my kids would one day throw me a birthday party I would have probably laughed.
If your kids are younger than mine (or decidedly less awesome - btw a point for which I take very little credit because I have no magic formula for creating awesomeness in children) then likely your day to day is a bit more wearying than mine.
I remember the days of rotating between diapers, nap time, endless laundry, food time, clean a little somthing only to turn around and repeat again and again and again until finally they are in bed for the night...hopefully.
I remember the days of pouring yourself out into those little people and meeting their every need (well almost) and getting very little thanks in return.
Some of us treasure these little years more and others of us struggle more.
Wherever you are at, I have two words of encouragement for you:
1 - They do grow up. They do mature. They do learn how to pour into you. And even if they aren't the "parent appreciation party" planning type like my Kate, they will find their own ways to make you know you are loved and appreciated.
2 - Be glad you're not a bird (but learn from them)
Being home more I've had opportunity to pay attention to the numerous birds living around our house. One day I watched a mama bird in her nest on a branch of one of our pine trees. It was windy and raining and she bounced and blew and sat dutifully on her nest through it all.
Another bird has laid her eggs in our rocks on the edge of our strawberry patch.
So what have I learned from these determined and fierce mothers? (P.S. I don't know that much about birds, for all I know it was the fathers but shh. let's just pretend we know it was the female.)
Aside from learning that I am grateful I am not a mother bird who has to sit on a nest in the rain and has nothing but a shrill voice to defend my young with, I have learned the following.
#1 - Defend your babies for all your worth.
While I was weeding the part of the strawberries closest to her, she was in my face! About a foot away from me at times with her feathers spread out and her shrill tweet ringing in my ears. She was nervous and definitely afraid of me, and yet more afraid that I was going to do her babies harm and that she needed to get me away. She didn't back down the entire time.
Needless to say I've never pulled weeds faster.
This mama bird taught me what it means to be a serious defender of my children. And please remember that the most dangerous enemy they face is not one of flesh and blood. The greatest enemy we face is the spiritual forces of evil that have come to kill, steal and destroy.
What is our weapon against such an enemy? Prayer and the Word of God which is the sword of the spirit.
Seriously, one of the greatest protections and blessings you can give to your children is to be in prayer over them and to pray scripture from the Bible over them.
#2 - Care and provide for your babies.
Like the mama bird in the storm or another one who has 4 little babies in her tiny nest, we are resonsible for feeding and caring for the needs of our children. Day after day. In the rain and in the sunshine. At whatever personal cost and sacrifice. If God placed that natural instinct and desire to care for and provide in a bird, how much more so has he given it to us who bear his image.
#3 - Prepare them for independence
While there are a lot of nests full of baby birds around here right now, they will not be so for long. In just a few short weeks the babies will be flying and will be out on their own. A mother bird does not care for them and meet their every need forever.
Instead, she prepares them for what lies ahead and launches them when it is time.
We have a bit longer of time with our young ones before we launch them, probably because they have a bit more to learn, but it is nonetheless not our job to grow them to be dependent upon us forever. Rather it is our job to grow them to be prepared for launch. That means doing the hard work of teaching them to do things rather than doing it for them. That means standing alongside them as they have awkward conversations with other grown ups. That means giving them their own tools of prayer and Bible study so that while they may grow in independence from you as parent, they are also growing in dependence on God. That means dying to self and allowing them to take steps away from the protection of your wing where you feel most in control.
#4 - Prepare for loss
It is a sad reality that not every baby bird makes it. We've found our fair share of little birdies that have fallen out of their nests and not been able to recover.
Our loss is not always losing the life of one of our babies. Our loss may be grieving over the choices they make, the friends they choose, the attitude they give us, or the reality of them growing up and moving on. Our loss as a mama in whatever shape it takes is very real.
And often, that hurt leads us to a place where we start to doubt ourselves. Our identity is cracked and we can become very discouraged and down on ourselves. Mama, this is not what God desires for you. Remember that no one is perfect, no one is a perfect mother. At the end of the day you have to do your best, own up to where you fell short and make it right if necessary (yup, that means apologizing to your kids on occassion), and remember that no matter how many mistakes you made your identity in Christ is that you are a chosen, precious, and loved Child of God.
God loves you no matter what. He thinks you are valuable no matter what. You don't get to think less of yourself. He is the one who created you and so has the right to tell you what you are worth. You are worth dying for Mama.
And when life with littles crumbles around you, remember that just as God cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, He cares for You and thinks you are worth dying for.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I had a few things I wanted to say and did my best to make it all flow together some how. But I will leave with you three things in summary as a note to any mom who is struggling today:
1) It will get better. And probably harder at times...but that's a whole other story
2) There's always something to be grateful for...at least you are not a mama bird
3) You are WORTH DYING FOR!
Happy Mother's Day.
