Planting Seeds Part 2

I remember like it was yesterday.  I'd finally had enough of the tornado aftermath status of the playroom and would order all hands on deck to clean and purge. This typically turned into me doing a lot of cleaning, purging, and frustrated encouraging for the girls to do their share (also known as yelling). In the end the playroom was neat and organized and a small bag of items was removed to donate.

In my calmer moments I would ponder how if I was more patient and placed less importance on having the room picked up as quickly as possible then the girls might actually have more readily participated and done something alongside me.

Fast forward to this evening. As I ran on the treadmill I had my television show on but I found myself watching with a smile the other show that was going on the room more.  Kate was finishing cleaning up and reorganizing the playroom in preparation for her sleepover next week.  She completely took apart the entire play kitchen, sorted out a pile of things to get rid of, and then sorted and organized and put it all back together with Type A precision. Down to the salt and pepper and banana on the shelf rather than in the fridge.

I remember something else like it was yesterday. Kate started taking piano lessons and would play through her songs once spending a whole 2 to 3 minutes practicing each night. I would lecture and threaten and do all sorts of proven parenting tactics to get her to see that if she worked harder she would learn faster and it would be more fun. 

More recently, Kate has gotten far more interested in practicing. She has memorized several of her songs, tries to write her own songs and willing plays them multiple times each night in practice. When she is playing you can tell she is having fun. 

So what's the point?

The point is that whether my techniques were perfect (which they weren't) or my pupils were willing participants (which they weren't) seeds were planted and tonight I got to see the fruit.

You see she didn't just clean a playroom or play a piano.

She took pride in her space and wanted to make it nice.

She chose to set items aside knowing we would donate them and they would help someone else.

She has learned the value of hard work and is taking pride in her accomplishments on the piano.

She made her mama proud and encouraged me to keep trudging forward in all of my imperfections as a mother knowing that seeds are being planted.

And you, whatever your situation is that may make you feel like all of your efforts are in vain, keep on. You never know when a perfectly organized kitchen is waiting for you.

It Can Be Done

It started when she was very young - just a couple of months old.  She would take her paci out of her mouth and put her thumb in.  I myself was a finger sucker when I was young and as a tired momma this self soothing tactic my younger daughter had found was in all honesty wonderful.  I mean you cannot lose your thumb!

As she got older, AJ was quite dependent on not just her thumb but also her blankie.  We had 5 blankies that she rotated through.  The situation was serious when 3 or more were in the laundry at one time!  Blankie went everywhere.  For those of you who remember Charlie Brown and are picturing Linus dragging his blanket behind him, you have precisely the right idea.

Between her years of 1.5 to 2.5, AJ had a reoccurring health issue that resulted in her having to be "put under" 7 times for surgeries and tests.  Needless to say that those long hours in the hospital the thumb and the blankie were a lifeline for comfort and we were in no hurry to take them away.

Fast forward and AJ was now 5 years old, had started kindergarten, and we still had just not found the right time to break these habits.  She relied on them less for certain.  She went a whole school day without.  But now with school looming every morning, the thought of taking away the blankie at bedtime and making it more difficult for her to fall asleep just seemed like a bad idea.

Into this mess, AJ added another bad habit.  She liked to pick at her owies.  Most of them started as bug bites but she picked and picked and picked at them unti they were a nasty mess.  She would pull off bandaids to pick and could basically not be left alone at any moment that her limbs were not fully covered because she would pick until she bled.

Enough was enough.  It was time to eliminate all three of those habits.

So we taped little mittens to the sleeves of her pajamas and put her to bed with no thumb and no blankie.  Those first few nights were rough!  I laid down with her to keep her in bed and she flopped and she rolled and she sighed and she got so hot she unbuttoned her shirt.  (She might have a little bit of a dramatic side!) But she did eventually fall asleep. 

Over the course of about a month she slept with the mittens on, found other means of comfort and snuggling that didn't include sucking her thumb or snuggling her blankie and she learned how to fall asleep more quickly. And when the mittens came off, her owies were healed and the picking hasn't been near the same problem as it was before.

I share this with you today because somebody out there needs to hear that It Can Be Done.  Those habits can be broken.  The nagging voices of fear and doubt that she will never fall asleep, it isn't going to work, it's going to take too much effort, are not true. 

As a momma, I often find myself trapped into thinking that a certain stage or difficult behavior or bad habit is forever.  Its the new normal.  It isn't overcomable. 

That is a lie from the enemy, meant to discourage, frustrate, and paralyze you into doing nothing.

Take heart momma, this too will pass.  This difficult season you may be in is not forever.  And that thing that you know needs to change that you have been putting off or afraid to try, get serious about it, stand firm to your plan, and IT CAN BE DONE.

If AJ can live life without her blankie and her thumb, then I feel pretty confident just about anything is possible :).