Terrible Twos

Kate turned two not quite a month ago. I had heard people say that there was a dramatic change in their children's behavior very near to the 2-year-old birthday.  I kind of shrugged it off because I had already been dealing with some characteristic terrible two behavior for quite awhile.

That is why I was totally unprepared to wake up one day to a little girl who seemingly forgot how to listen and obey, went from independent in a positive way to INDEPENDENT all the way, cried all of the time, and deliberately misbehaved right in front of me.  To be fair, she was not feeling well and so I think there was some more to the story, but for a couple of days we struggled!  On the outside, I was able to remain fairly patient and level headed in responding to Kate and her needs, but on the inside I was a wreck.  I was tired.  I was frustrated.  I was confused.  I feared that it was going to last forever.  

I prayed.  I prayed a lot.  I wanted God to show me a lesson in what was happening but I wasn't seeing it.

Then one night I read in Matthew about Jesus and the Pharisees.  Jesus wasn't shy about what he thought about the Pharisees and all of their ritual and rules, but inward unrighteousness and rejection of him.  But then a scripture caught my eye, "How often I've ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn't let me."  Matthew 23:37  Despite all of the ways Jesus was disappointed at any moment he was eager, even longing, to welcome the Pharisees into his family.

As I read this and then spent time praying God showed me two lessons:

1 - I will always love Kate no matter what her behavior is like and she is always welcome to come running to my arms for love and acceptance.  That is how God feels about us.  We are not perfect, we throw some pretty creative temper tantrums, we disobey, but God is always willing to forgive and to love.

2 - I found it interesting that when Kate would do something she knew was wrong and she knew she was about to get in trouble, most of the time she would not run from me.  Rather she would run to me in tears.  I am not sure of her motives, but I know this is not my natural response to God when I screw up.  Like Adam and Even, we like to cover our sin up and try to hide from God, but we cannot.  Kate coming running to me was a good lesson for me to take my sin before God, be real with it, and ask for forgiveness so that I can receive that unconditional love and acceptance and move on.

Thankfully that particular week of extremely difficult behavior is over.  I am sure there are more to come.  I am praying the lessons don't stop coming and that God continues to give me patience and wisdom to be a Godly mom.