Lets Be Intentional

In the book, The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. Dobson, I read a summary of the results of a 10 year study of children between the ages of eight and eighteen months.

The study's purpose was to discover how early experiences shape the development of healthy, intelligent human beings.  In that summary, I read the following...


"The amount of live language directed to a child (not to be confused with television, radio, or overheard conversations) is vital to her development of fundamental linguistic, intellectual, and social skills."
"The best parents in the study were those who excelled at three key functions:
 1. They were superb designers and organizers of their children's environments."
2. They permitted their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes, during which personal consultation, comfort, information, and enthusiasm were exchanged."
3. They were 'firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children.'"


I would say it is a fair statement that most moms want their children to grow up to be healthy, intelligent, human beings...and then some.  Not that this is a big news flash or anything, but guess what?  That doesn't just happen all by itself.  All of the parenting tips above require us being preemptive, active, thoughtful, intentional parents.

In the same way that the toys don't pick themselves up, the laundry doesn't wash itself, and the crumbs don't sweep themselves up off the floor, character doesn't just develop...in ourselves or our children.

The reason I included the first quote above is because I am not really a talker.  It isn't my natural state to just have a one sided conversation with my daughter as we hang out together all day.  So when I read about how important that is (and of course I've read it before in just about every parenting book, article, or pamphlet I pick up), I get a little prick of conscience.  How much did I talk to *Kate today?  I know this isn't something I am going to naturally do, and so I have to acknowledge it is going to take me being intentional.

This is just one example of a much bigger lesson that God has been teaching me lately.  To be the kind of parent that I want to be takes intentionality.

To be the kind of person I want to be takes intentionality.  I'll be honest, sometimes I wish life was like the easy button.  You just got to float along on the lazy river and watch life go by.  But in order to get the most out of life, that isn't really how it goes. 

To me, to be intentional means the following (and so much more):

-deciding in advance what I want to accomplish in a day
-setting boundaries for myself and my daughter and enforcing them
-using my time (all of it) well
-investing in relationships
-spending time with God - reading, praying, and listenting
-sharing about God with others
-speaking up about important issues
-going on date nights with my husband (need to put one of those on the calendar)

I think you get the idea.  I have to decide each day, each moment, to be intentional.  Will you be intentional with me?


*Click on the link to read about using the name Kate