Monkey See Monkey Do

All kids go through this stage...in fact while there is a definite age where it is more prominent I don't think it ever really goes away. The stage I am referring to is when kids mimic or copy everything they see someone else do. Kate is in this stage.

It is cute when she attempts something that she saw me do, but clearly doesn't really understand. A couple days ago I was aggressively pumping the hand soap dispenser because it was almost empty and I turn around to see Kate attempting the same with the dispenser on her baby shampoo.

Kate is also convinced that the appropriate way to hold a phone to your face is balanced between head and shoulder, not with your hand. (Apparently I multi-task often!)

This stage has deeper implications that go way beyond cute. She's watching.

She's watching me.
She's watching others.

And she's learning. And she's doing.

In 1 Corinthians 4:16 Paul says to the church at Corinth, "Therefore I urge you to imitate me." He also tells the church at Philipi in Philippians 4: 9, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

These verses intimidate me. Do I want to confidently look at my daughter and others who look up to me in faith and say "do as I do?" Well, yes I want to, but I know that with that comes a big responsibility.

I am challenged by my awareness of Kate's awareness. I want to model for her a strong woman, generous with her time and resources, hard working, a positive, joyful attitude, someone in control of her feelings/emotions, respect for her husband, a fear of God...and so much more. (We've come a long way from soap dispensers :))

While it can be intimidating to have a little mimicking monkey, I am also grateful for the accountability that gives me to make myself someone more beautiful in God's sight each day.

Pardon the country song reference below, if you're not a fan, but the following lyrics illustrate the importance of the job we have as parents, when young impressionable eyes are on us all the time.

Artist/Band: Atkins Rodney
Lyrics for Song: Watching You


Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with “S” and I was concerned
So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”

Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you."

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-Doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We like fixin’ things and holding momma’s hand
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do; so I’ve been watching you"

With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.
Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”
And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”

"‘Cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
By then I’ll be strong as superman
We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad
When I can do everything you do.
‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you."
hey yeah
uh huh

She Cuddled

Before we had kids and when I was pregnant I couldn't wait for all of those moments of snuggling with my little baby.  However, once Kate arrived on the scene I was more than a little disappointed when she demonstrated early on that she wasn't really into cuddling.  She preferred to fall asleep in her carseat or crib than in our arms and was rarely content to just sit with you and snuggle.

A couple weeks ago, Kate woke up from a nap and was OBVIOUSLY not ready to be awake.  I sat down in the rocking chair with her and a few minutes later she was snuggled up in my arms fast asleep.  While an hour long rocking session wasn't really on my agenda for the afternoon I certainly didn't complain about those precious moments of cuddle time that are so rare.

While I rocked I thought about how God must feel.  If I long for those moments with my daughter, how much does our loving Father long for those moments of relationship with us? 

What does cuddling in God's presence look like?
-Reading the Bible is a great place to start
-Praying - talking to God and telling him everything on your heart and mind
-Be thankful and give praise to God for all of your blessings
-Sing praise and worship songs
-Enjoy nature and God's creation
-Etc.

And you know what else, ever since that day, I've had more and more snuggles from my touch-me-not daughter.  Once we get a taste of what it is like to be in the Father's arms, we want to go back more and more because of the peace, love, safety and acceptance we find there.

These song lyrics from How He Loves by David Crowder remind of how God feels about us and what it is like to snuggle in his presence.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Lets Be Intentional

In the book, The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. Dobson, I read a summary of the results of a 10 year study of children between the ages of eight and eighteen months.

The study's purpose was to discover how early experiences shape the development of healthy, intelligent human beings.  In that summary, I read the following...


"The amount of live language directed to a child (not to be confused with television, radio, or overheard conversations) is vital to her development of fundamental linguistic, intellectual, and social skills."
"The best parents in the study were those who excelled at three key functions:
 1. They were superb designers and organizers of their children's environments."
2. They permitted their children to interrupt them for brief thirty-second episodes, during which personal consultation, comfort, information, and enthusiasm were exchanged."
3. They were 'firm disciplinarians while simultaneously showing great affection for their children.'"


I would say it is a fair statement that most moms want their children to grow up to be healthy, intelligent, human beings...and then some.  Not that this is a big news flash or anything, but guess what?  That doesn't just happen all by itself.  All of the parenting tips above require us being preemptive, active, thoughtful, intentional parents.

In the same way that the toys don't pick themselves up, the laundry doesn't wash itself, and the crumbs don't sweep themselves up off the floor, character doesn't just develop...in ourselves or our children.

The reason I included the first quote above is because I am not really a talker.  It isn't my natural state to just have a one sided conversation with my daughter as we hang out together all day.  So when I read about how important that is (and of course I've read it before in just about every parenting book, article, or pamphlet I pick up), I get a little prick of conscience.  How much did I talk to *Kate today?  I know this isn't something I am going to naturally do, and so I have to acknowledge it is going to take me being intentional.

This is just one example of a much bigger lesson that God has been teaching me lately.  To be the kind of parent that I want to be takes intentionality.

To be the kind of person I want to be takes intentionality.  I'll be honest, sometimes I wish life was like the easy button.  You just got to float along on the lazy river and watch life go by.  But in order to get the most out of life, that isn't really how it goes. 

To me, to be intentional means the following (and so much more):

-deciding in advance what I want to accomplish in a day
-setting boundaries for myself and my daughter and enforcing them
-using my time (all of it) well
-investing in relationships
-spending time with God - reading, praying, and listenting
-sharing about God with others
-speaking up about important issues
-going on date nights with my husband (need to put one of those on the calendar)

I think you get the idea.  I have to decide each day, each moment, to be intentional.  Will you be intentional with me?


*Click on the link to read about using the name Kate

What's in a Name

You may have noticed that I don't use my daughter's name when I write these posts even though most of them are inspired by her.  Well, that's mostly because this is the WORLD WIDE web after all and some day the little 1 year old is going to be a 16 year old and may be less than thrilled to have her name associated with all of my favorite little stories.

That being said, it is a bit awkward to always refer to her without a name.  So from now on, I will refer to my little inspiration as Kate.

Please...Pray

I've tried to teach our little girl some sign language.  While she knows a few signs, she caught on to "please" very quickly and uses it A LOT.  She'll walk to a door and sign please and wait for you to open it.  She will see something across the room and start signing please and expect you to retrieve for her what she is spying with her little eye.  And most importantly she signs please like crazy whenever food is present.  It is a bit difficult sometimes to determine what it is that she wants, but I much prefer the frequent random tummy or chest rub (the sign for please) to the squawking or crying which would be her alternative means of getting something she wants.  Just so you all know that she isn't the most polite child on earth she does more than her share of squawking and crying when she doesn't get what she wants, regardless of how politely she asked for it. :)

Since signing please is such a big part of our day to day right now it seemed appropriate that there was something to learn there.  A 14 month old signs please to get what she wants because she is still very dependent on me or other caregivers and needs our help for most if not all activities.

I believe that as Christians we are called to lead lives in which we are fully dependent on God.  What that means is that we are doing things that on our own are extremely difficult or impossible.  In reality, that really doesn't have to be anything special because just day to day striving to not sin and to live more like Jesus is something that cannot be done on our own.

Which leads me back to signing...no, I'm not suggesting we all walk around all day rubbing our tummies...mostly because it just wouldn't be as cute as when a toddler does it...

I am suggesting we pray with the same urgency, frequency, and persistence that my little girl signs please.  God's word tells us to "pray continually" in 1 Thessalonians 5:17.  We all have small moments of down time that we can turn into pray time - washing dishes, sitting at stop lights, folding laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.  As a need or an issue comes to mind before you can worry about it, pray over it.  When you think of a friend, pray for them.  When you screw up, pray about it.  When you are happy, pray.  And don't forget to say please :).

Impossible Task?

I love the persistence of my one year old.  Today I watched as she tried again and again to wad of a string of beads and get all of it to fit into her tiny little hand at once.  An impossible task.  But the beauty of it was that she didn't know it was an impossible task and so she kept at it...for about as long as a one year old keeps at anything before moving on to the next thing.

We adults put so many limits on ourselves, each other, and regretfully even God.  We have long lists of things that seem impossible.

What's on your list?  Graduating from high school or college, getting a job, getting married, beating an addiction, sharing your faith with others, healing from deep hurts, becoming president :)...?

And I don't know about you, but when I encounter something that seems impossible, I tend not to be as persistent as a one year old with a fist full of beads.

The reality is that we have it all wrong.  Let me show you what God says about impossible.

Matthew 17:20 says "He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”"

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

In Luke 18:27 Jesus says, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

I read today in 2 Thessalonians 1:11 and 12 how God comes up behind us and adds his power and strength to our efforts.  The Message version says, "we...pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something."

What the Word is telling us is that on our own things may be impossible, but with God working in us and through us, we have the power to change ourselves, overcome our fears, and change the world for the glory of God.

Get Back Up Again

My little girl has officially been a walker for a couple of weeks.  While she gets around very well, she still falls a lot!  Whether it is the pile of toys she thinks she can bulldoze through, an invisible bump in the floor, those annoying shoes her mommy puts on her, or just uncoordinated limbs and an awkward center of gravity, something sends her landing with a thud on that diaper clad bottom.

And as long as she's well fed, not over tired, and the bang of the head on the hardwood floor wasn't loud enough to be heard in the next room, she typically just jumps back up again and is on her way.

I know this is not a big stretch but a 13 month old learning how to walk closely resembles us as sinners learning how to live for God.

We typically can get around pretty well, but we still fall down a lot.  I fall when I choose to judge someone or gossip, when I get angry and say something sarcastic to my husband, when I ignore the nudges of God and don't obey, when I am prideful.  The Bible calls this sin and says that none of us are immune from it.

Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

It is important to not ignore the fact of sin, but this blog is actually meant to be more about the getting back up again.  Like I said, most of the time our little walker doesn't sit and wallow in her fall.  She jumps up, shrugs it off, and forgets it ever happened.  This is actually what caught my attention and reminded me of God's grace.

Romans 3:24 & 25a (New Living Translation) says, "²⁴ Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. ²⁵ For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood."

And Romans 8:1 says, "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."

God offers a way for us to receive forgiveness for our sins.  We can accept that Jesus paid the penalty for them when he was sacrificed on the cross.  Our responsibility then is to repent, ask forgiveness and commit with the help of God to sin no more.

God doesn't want us to sit and wallow in our sin, no matter how terrible we think it is.  He wants us to get back up again and keep moving forward.

This reminded me of the lyrics of a song by TobyMac.  You can listen to the song and read the lyrics below.